Monday, March 29, 2010

its all yesterday..

I gave you the benefit of the doubt till you showed me what you were about,ur true bloody colours came out n your words couldn't hide the sin dt uve been pretending on me cz the truth about where you've been doing all this long n cheating on me..Im done wif dz, feeling like an idiot Loving you,for all dz tym..Im jz over it I just don't love you, don't love you no more u are so yesterday neva thought you would lose my love this way now you come begging me to stay,I don't wanna hear a thing you say baby what you're saying to me is useless ders no more you and I..I couldn't get it right on yesterday so kiss our tomorrows goodbye..last time i should've just been a man about it,ur love was like my blanket dun noe know what to do without it,n now u r begging me,tellg me like im d one dt has been hurtg u..hell no BITCH..Ur promises don't mean nothing for all this while..And now you wanna reminisce,say you wanna try again..i noe it start out with a little kiss bt u end it up like dz..dt is jz cool..im sorry bt we can't even be friends..no no..!! now i never wanna see you, never wanna feel you, never wanna hear you I don't love you, dun need you, I can't stand you no more..stop doing dz..y u always wanna do dz to me,y cant u be hapy for me..for wt i have nw..FUCK all dz..please..i love wt i have now..i jz dun wanna lose it for sum1 like u..dt dun noe how to appreciate thgs..n take my love dt u can play with..when u say u love me,u love me jz on dt day..n when u feel like throwing me away..u jz do it..u dun have feeling..not a lil bit at all..i hve trillions of reason for nt givg u d 2nd chance,nt even 2nd its d 4th chance..id rather stay wif Shahira..I love her,she loves me..i wont take her 4 granted..nt anymore..plz be happy 4 me..im begging u..u r d one said.."if i cant handle u at ur worse,den i dun deserve u at ur best"..nw i undrstd wt is dt suppose to mean..im jz too stupid,didnt realize it..so lets jz be it..

Sofian

Australia..with Love..

dz is d story b4 i came to australia..ish asik speaking je..ah biala..sebok je..sbelom dtg ke australia,i was in NIUC,Nilai International University College..doing aircraft maintenance engineering..eh jap2..cmtu ke eja maintenance..or maintanence..ish pape jela..ade bunyik ok la tu..mmg dr kecik aku suka Aeroplane..aku stat suke whn i was 6 years old..mase aku igt lagi 1st flight seumur hidup g indonesia holiday..dt tyme i was waitg at the boardg gate..looking through the glass n i was amaze how cn dz big steel thg fly with on two engine dts is smaller than d fuselage..btw fuselage ialah tmpat korang duduk 2 la..x termasok wing die..dr dpan smpai blakang..tu la fuselage..jz in case x tau..hehe..

den i was wondering brape org yg nk kna bawak bde nie..?? den aku g kt my mum n i was askg 1000 question tah mase 2 btol ke x my mum nye jwpn bt i was like oookkk..until 1 tyme,my mum ckp,kalo nk bawak bde 2..blaja elokk2..n jd pilot..n then aku taye lg.."pilot 2 ape mami..??" jwpn my mum sng je..yg bwk kapal trbg 2 laa..semenjak dr 2..ive set my mind..1 day ill fly dt thg,evn wteva it takes..n this was 14 years ago..=)

until now my passion towards aircraft neva chge..even i love to watch Aircrash Investigation..bloody hell..sumtimes it looks scary..bt then mostly aircrash 99% came from human error itself..see,dts y we r usg "nobodys perfect"..we r nt perfect..if we r perfect,xdenye sume org nk study..hell no..do u all know dt to an aircraft crash is in a ratio of 1:1,000,000...every pilot knows dt i thk.. ^.^

bt 4 me i dun believe in those thgs,if kte da ditakdir kn utk mati cm2,no one cn chge dt..jz accept it..ajal n maut di tgn tuhan..seriously evrytyme i went for flight,ill jz keep on sayg to myself "wteva thgs gonna happen today,it happens for a reason..even kalo aku mati arinie,aku mati sbb aku buat ape yg aku nk slame nie..so,its worth it.." before evry single flight,ill call my mum,n sumtimes i ask her to tell my sis i Love her..call my dad,grndma..evry1..jz for the sake of 1 hour flight..even 1 minutes of flight,anythg could happn..

even ders one tyme,aku lpe nk call family,bt mlm tu da ckp da ade flight pagi,my mum ckp lpas flight call,ok,biasenye mmg aku x lpe..den afta flight aku lpe nk call,afta flight plak aku pnat den tdola kt umah..dr ptg smpai mlm..phne plak silence..aduhh..mmg 50++ la call form my mum,sis,skali ngn nenek2 pn call gak..aduh..den call la balikk my mum,bole bantai kna marah la plak..ahahha..kne bebel nape x call sume..sume risau..hehe..relaxla..kn kn..wah sayang diorang kt aku nie..heee..=)

b4 plan nk g aussie pn ade apply kt flying academy malaysia..bt den pnoh plak..mmg mase 2 mmg da heart broken,nk jd pilot x mendpt..den bace2 surat kabar my mum jmpe article bout flight training kt aussie..n i was thkg dt sounds interestg..den kitorg jz pegi seminar 2..dga2..bout their training..afta a few hours dt time i didnt make up my mind lg nk pegi ke x..until 1 fine day,ttbe my mum taye "nk pegi ke aussie..???" i was like blurr giler.. den taye la balikk "bercuti ke..? sape xnk..??" (while smiling) hee.. den die ckp for ur future la..n i taye..u mean u nk anta i g training kt sane..n i was so happy..bt at d same time,ade terpikir gak,dts gonna be a lot of money involve..=( den ngadu kt my sis,i cant do this to mum..australia is nt malaysia,their iving expenses is 3x more than malaysia..n shes like,if she cant afford die xkn offer kn...........

n my mum ask me to make up my mind whether u gonna 4get bout pilotg,n find another course or jz go to australia..n make ur dream come true..it takes me almost two weeks to make up my mind..n 1 day im thkg until when i hve to depending on my family..one day ive 2 leave them, n live my life,make my own decision,raise a family,once i hve a family i have a job,n d job is puttg food on the table for my family..i ve to do dt witout them..i have to be independent..n here i am..im on my own..even ive been missg the like hell..shit,i wish i could be der nw..lg2 ade plak yg aku syg skrg nie..owh dear SHAHIRA..<3

a month before going,evry single fren nk jmpe..sume ckp nnti rindu2..ok fine,smpai nk g bli beg pn rmai gile ikut..ahahha..lantak korg la..nk sgt jmpe kn..ikut aku shoppg bli beg ahahah..bt it was fun..dt time plak pavilion ade..so merayap g sane mkn TGI fridays,tgk movie..waa beznye..nk buat lg..haih bile la bole lg nie..even 1 day b4 pegi pn ade yg dtg umah..beznye ade kwn cmnie..=)

15 nov 2008..
den ptg sblum departure my mum msak my favourite food..tp cm first time x abis mknn 2 sbb sedeh..den i went up bilik nk bersiap,mandi sume suddenly air mata jantan klua,haha..d only thg i dun undrstd is,whether its a tears of joy,or the tears of sadness..cz both feeling were der..bt i have 2 cover up dt thg..cz xnk my mum,my sis,especially grndma stat nanges gak..so bkunci la dlm bilik until sume looks fine..den before btolak..my mu ask me,are u sure u wanna go..i dun mind if u chge ur mind at this very last moment..i said "im sure i cn do dz..i wont let u down,i will make all of u proud..dts my promise..den mulelaa drama melayu,whn my grandma stat nanges..peluk x nk lpas..baru kt umah blom kt airport lg nie..hihi..8.00 p.m,smpai airport,d best part is x sgke sume org dtg..my auntie,my czin..rmai gile..igtkn family je..bt den sume ade..ok cool..tersentuh gak la..hehe..

every minutes i keep on looking at my watch..cz at dt time every minutes is precious..cz i thk whether its d last moment im gona see them again or maybe i have the chance to see them again..so its all depends..so we all went to international departure..dt was d last time im with my family...salam2 mintak maaf,doakn saye,janji2..bt x nanges punn..yg nanges my grndma je..my mum pun x nanges..my sis die tahan i noe..cz im her only brother,kitorg gelak same2,sharing story,kuar sesame den one day im gone..die balikk umah pn xde sape nk layann die..dts kinda sedeh gak..2 yg susah adik bradik dua je..bt bez gak bile kite yg adek..hehe..before i go punn,bf my sis ade call ckp kakak slalu nanges sbb yan nk pegi..yan pjuk la die eh...until kwn die kt brunei pn call i,sbb i mmg rapat ngn kak liana nie..ckp kakak ngadu kt die sedeh adik die nk pegi jauh da xde sape die nk layan..hehe..i noe sis,yan pn sedeh gak,xnk tnjuk je sbb nnti kakak lg sedeh..eee rindunyee..da lme x jmpe kak liana..dulu mase die slalu dtg umah,kalo kuar ngn kak liana,my sis,n bf kakak,sklalu i la jd bf kak liana ahahah..bez2..

9.00 p.m gate C3..flight to Australia..
da nk pegi punn still on the phone ngn family..nenek,kakak,papa..sedehnye..tp nk wt cmne..nk mnuntut ilmu..10.40 da berlepas..smpai aussie kol 9 pagi aussie..kt malaysia 6.00 pg mase tuh..flying3 unti 2nd of March ive got my first solo..on my bbirthday..cool weh..ssah tau aku bajet cmtu..hehe.......................................................

15 dec 2009
until one year baru balikk malaysia balikk..sbb summer break..mase nk balikk 2 bez gilee..sthun x jmpe family kn kn..haha..raye punn x dpt balikk..hihi..time nie la sume nk jmpe lg..cuti 3 minggu lbih je..nk jmpe rmai..yg penting Shahira dpt jmpe..haha..1st date da jmpe my mum,n my sis..coll la wei..hehe..itupn kalo x pakse x nk ikut..hehe..pdn muke die kna pakse..senyap je dlm keta..haha klaka..siap tp worth it kn seharian ngn sayang..?? <3 da shoppg2..nk balikk da,mstila kna anta die balikk kn..pastu cm nk mkn nasik lmak la plak kn..die bawak g malis..layaaannn..hehe..dt tyme sbnrnye,aku da x rase mcm kwn mcm da cple..hehe..den ade one day aku dpt tau die da bpunye..ilang la hajat 2..

10th Jan 2010..
balikk aussie,even tau die still in relationshp,bt kitorg still ctact..skype,ym,fb,myspace..den 21 days b4 my 20th birthday,aku cabar die make me fall in love wif her..actually within dt duration i jz nk dga die ckp I LOVE YOU..ade die ckp,bt i want it in a proper way..afta 2 days she did convince me dt die btol2 sayang aku..so i jz giv her a chance..n un til now..we r still together,n the love grew stronger n stronger..n raya thun nie aku nak balikk gak..nk jmpe die..x kesah,nk balikk gak..nk raye malaysia..cnie boring..wt eva it is i will make it happen..

Australia has bring me a lot of happiness,sadness,bring me love dt i have neva expected..=) n im glad i found u Shahira..

Saturday, March 27, 2010

why..??

this is wt i feel ryte nw..GIVING UP..everything..bt dz is wt i want,dz is wt i dreamed of..why should i giv up..?? life is unfair..sometimes..everytime we pray 4 sumthg,nt everythg we get,until we earn it..we work for it..den we get it..dts wt i need 2 do nw..flying an aircraft is nt driving a car..haha..same goes to love,loving sum1 is nt easy..dts bloody responsibility..i love wt i have now,loving mum,dad,grandma,sister, n Shahira love..

being the only son n the only brother in the family is nt easy..cz one day im responsible for everythg,my own wife to take care to,mom,dad,sister,grandma..everyone..bknnye nk merungut..bt dts wt life is..we cant run away from responsibility..

penah je dlu da pikir nk balik msia..im done..give up..bt dgn nasihat my mum,sis,frens..im still goin strong,until now still..im glad..ive neva stop prayg..cz dts d only way..

bt dr dlu lg..sume bde dt da plan..alwayz ade prob..until now..i dun noe why..i jz go through to it.. bt thank god,im still cn go through it..eventhough it make me feels like giving up..hmmm,thanks to Shahira dt still nt gettg tired of me..even my Attitude like shit..shes d kind dt girl,i wanna spend my life together..Your world is my world,n my fight is ur fight..my breath is ur breath n your heart is mine..ur my one love,my one heart n my life for sure..ill be ur one guy,ull be my number one girl,alwayz makg time for you..

kadang2 tulis blog ill end up citer psal Shahira..haha..mestinya..Sayang sgt kott..ape kott2..mmg syg sgt punn..hihi..LOVE,LOVE,LOVE...bile la dpt jmpe die nie..dlu jmpe pn x puas..=) nk balikk raye thun nie..thun lpas x dpt salam mami punn,kakak,papa,nenek,unc mas..haih..dosa thun lpas x berampun punn..hahah..eh thun lpas baeklaa..x jahat punn..hihi..




Thursday, March 25, 2010

cinta yg sempurna..=)



even i did sumthg wrong,u still bare wif me,neva get tired of me,neva hates me,neva giv up wif me..NEVER..!! dts d best word..dts wt i like bout u..i feel lucky i found you,even d 1st tyme i didnt put faith on u..bt now i did..i trusted u..ALWAYZ..sorry 4 evrythg wt ive done to u..i didnt mean it,no ones is perfect..im tryg my best to get to noe u..im not gonna be surprised if one day we gonna spend our life together,cz every single day i pray 4 dt..eventhough we keep on fightg,i thk dts d only thg dt makes our grew stronger..I u wif all my heart..

Another day without your smile
Another day just passes by
But now i know how much it means
For you to stay right here with me
The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurts so bad i can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

A thousand miles between us now
It causes me to wonder how
Our love tonight remains so strong
It makes our risk right all along
The time we spent apart will make our love grow stronger
But it hurt so bad i can't take it any longer

I wanna grow old with you
I wanna die lying in your arms
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna be looking in your eyes
I wanna be there for you, sharing everything you do
I wanna grow old with you

things can come and go
i know but baby believe
somethings burning strong between us
makes it clear to me

I you SHAHIRA..


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

TQ AGAIN..

step in my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes


screw everything..

this is what i feel right now..
screw FACEBOOK..
screw YAHOO MESSENGER..
screw SKYPE..

I HATE ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW..

FUCK..!!



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Prank..haha

[3:13:50 PM] shahira: ok
[3:15:17 PM] shahira: did u love me?
[3:15:37 PM] sofian: do u love me..??
[3:15:43 PM] shahira: yes i do
[3:15:56 PM] sofian: ok..
[3:16:04 PM] shahira: how bout u?
[3:16:10 PM] sofian: do u..?/
[3:16:20 PM] shahira: im asking
[3:16:26 PM] sofian: did u/.??
[3:16:33 PM] shahira: did u waht?
[3:16:37 PM] shahira: ]*what
[3:16:46 PM] sofian: did u ask me
[3:17:02 PM] shahira: yes im asking
[3:17:29 PM] sofian: wt did u ask..?
[3:17:35 PM] shahira: do u love me?
[3:17:44 PM] sofian: really..??
[3:17:53 PM] shahira: main2 lah u
[3:17:58 PM] shahira: da xsyg lah tu
[3:17:59 PM] sofian: no
[3:18:09 PM] shahira: i tnya xjwb
[3:18:14 PM] sofian: x
[3:18:21 PM] shahira: xsyg?
[3:18:23 PM] sofian: x
[3:18:34 PM] shahira: xsyg shshira
[3:18:35 PM] shahira: ?
[3:18:39 PM] sofian: x
[3:18:50 PM] shahira: seriusly?
[3:18:54 PM] sofian: yup
[3:19:08 PM] sofian: da x syg da
[3:19:24 PM] shahira: syg sapa?
[3:19:32 PM] sofian: xde sape..
[3:19:41 PM] shahira: shahira abdullah pun?
[3:19:45 PM] sofian: yup
[3:19:51 PM] shahira: da xnk dia?
[3:19:56 PM] sofian: xnk
[3:20:19 PM] shahira: ok~u xmain2 kan.tnya bnyk kali pun sama je jwbpn..
[3:20:35 PM] sofian: mmg x main2 pn..
[3:20:45 PM] shahira: ok..
[3:21:01 PM] shahira: tgok da xnk i
[3:21:13 PM] shahira: :'(
[3:21:24 PM] sofian: tgk muke
[3:21:35 PM] sofian: mmg pn..
[3:21:43 PM] sofian: u kn ade shahmi
[3:21:54 PM] shahira: dlu
[3:21:58 PM] shahira: bkn now
[3:22:19 PM] sofian: forever u will
[3:22:28 PM] shahira: u xnk i?
[3:22:46 PM] sofian: muaz ade..
[3:22:53 PM] shahira: muaz kwn baik i
[3:23:02 PM] shahira: xkn jd part of mylife
[3:23:09 PM] sofian: i noe..die kn suke kt u..
[3:23:15 PM] shahira: u xsuka i?
[3:23:33 PM] sofian: nt anymore
[3:24:22 PM] shahira: k

ahahahh..kna tgk muke die..=) bape kali aku gelak sbnrnnye die je yg x prasan..aduss..
klaka klaka..